You’ll likely come across at least one individual in your lifetime who makes you feel genuinely profound feelings.
Perhaps the person you love doesn’t feel the same way about you, or maybe the person who does love you has hurt you deeply. You may find yourself dwelling on the person you despise if you strongly disdain them.
You’d prefer not to think about them in either case, so you decide to put them out of your mind forever. However, you may have observed that trying to repress particular thoughts brings them back in full force, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and dissatisfied.
But it doesn’t mean you’ll be stuck remembering them forever. If you’re having trouble refocusing, try one of these ten methods. Before proceeding, check out Love Messages which offers an infinite collection of love quotes, images, and wallpapers. Read more about it on saasdiscovery.
1. Identify the Cause of This Problem
Try as you might, you can’t get that person out of your head. If you look at this question head-on, you may find out why you can’t seem to move past them.
Let’s pretend you always had a major crush on a fellow student but were too shy to ask them out. Now, you give a lot of thought to how you could bring about this exchange.
It is customary to dwell on dreams that will never come true, but what if there is still a chance of reuniting? That special someone you like might reject you. It’s also possible that they’ll agree to go out with you, but the date will end up being disastrous.
In any case, knowing the conclusion will make it easier to put the past in the past.
2. Pay Attention to Reality
It’s normal to exaggerate someone’s characteristics, especially if the more fine recollections of their past have gone with time.
People have more depth than can be reduced to good and evil. Still, memory biases can make it more likely that you will recall exceptional or dreadful characteristics or occurrences rather than those that are more typical.
These inflated views can quickly take over one’s consciousness, making it much more challenging to let go. To counter them, you might remind yourself to stick to the facts wherever possible.
Let’s say you’re having trouble getting over an ex. If you’ve ever thought, “I’ll never find someone else like them,” stop and think about why they were so special. To avoid the thought, “They were so perfect. Putting what it is about a person you find attractive will help you see that it might not be so hard to locate others who share those traits.
All they want to do is make my life a living hell. But if you take the time to sort through your recollections, you’ll probably find a couple that helps you see things from a more nuanced, balanced vantage point. Discover the truth behind commonplace claims like “They never let me down,” “They always knew precisely what to say,” and “They’re so nasty,” and use it to conclude the people in question.
Consider the situation in an unbiased manner. If you can’t help but think that a coworker is out to get you, force yourself to consider other possibilities. They could be going through a rough phase. Maybe they’re that keen with everyone. Taking a step back from your feelings can help you see someone else’s actions for what they are, making it simpler to brush them off.
3. It’s Better To Accept Than To Refuse
If you’re having trouble shaking a notion about a particular person, rather than avoiding it, consider embracing it. That makes no sense, yet it’s an effective strategy.
You may be unable to let go of those ideas until you face the facts of the circumstance. Any situations, unrequited love, humiliation, unfair treatment, or simple spite, can cause you significant emotional anguish, and you may choose to avoid them to keep yourself safe.
You can’t avoid suffering indefinitely, and you might be unprepared for the severity of the anguish that arises when you face it.
If you lock up your thoughts and don’t give yourself access to them again, they may start to feel taboo or even outright illegal. You may move through difficulty more effectively by coming to terms with them and your situation. The more you allow your thoughts to roam free after opening the lid, their desire for acknowledgment becomes less urgent.
The practice of meditation is a good technique for learning to examine and accept one’s negative thoughts. Developing the habit of sitting quietly and observing your thoughts with compassion and curiosity is one of the primary benefits of regular meditation practice.
4. Make a Note of It
If you’ve tried meditation and found it doesn’t assist you, don’t beat yourself up. You can start clearing that person from your mind by investigating and embracing your thoughts about them.
Writing in a diary is one method. However, while keeping a journal is often associated with adolescence, it can be helpful at any age.
Writing in a journal is a safe way to express your feelings and solve your problems privately. Writing things down can make it feel like it’s easier to figure out why specific thoughts keep coming back.
Keeping a journal can be quite therapeutic for many people. Writing down stressful ideas can make you feel you’ve finally found a place to put them where they won’t bother you as much.
5. Divert Yourself in a Productive Way
As long as you use it wisely, distraction can help you deal with any form of emotional suffering. Distraction is helpful when you need a momentary escape from stressful or disturbing thoughts.
When there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation, distraction can help. However, it shouldn’t be used in place of working on self-awareness and embracing who you are. Resolving recurrent thoughts usually requires getting to the bottom of what’s causing them.
In summary, distraction can be an effective short-term coping strategy so long as it is not used to reject feelings and events.
Instead of letting your mind roam, trying a targeted distraction or refocusing it on a specific object or task may assist.
Here are a few good distractions to try:
- Get a good read in.
- Turn on some tunes.
- Enjoy an old classic.
- Have a chat with a pal.
- Take a stroll or go for a run outside.
- Explore your own identity.
If you’re having trouble getting over a breakup with a significant other or recovering from a toxic friend’s betrayal, it may help to shift your attention back to yourself.
You can divert your attention away from the person you want to quit thinking about by devoting some time to learning more about yourself. It can also help you reconnect with the things in life that truly matter to you, such as hobbies and interests. You know, you tend to forget all those things while your mind is preoccupied with another person.
Trying to get over a past love interest who didn’t feel the same way might make the pleasures of self-exploration all the more meaningful. If you take the time to get to know yourself again, you may discover crucial areas in which they don’t fully satisfy you or fit into the future you picture.
6. Put Your Own Needs First
When you think you need another person, letting go of them is difficult. If you tell yourself you can’t go on without them, it will be challenging to move forward on your own healthily toward your goals.
You could ask yourself:
- What void did they help to fill?
- Do I have the resources to handle that on my own?
- In that case, could you please tell me how I can fulfill that requirement?
By providing some responses, you can start to see things more clearly. Remember that no one person or relationship can provide all of your emotional requirements, although they can help.
7. Maintain A Safe Distance
Distance between you and the other person can aid in effective thinking redirection. The adage goes, “out of sight, out of mind.”
These methods can be helpful when total avoidance is impossible:
- Delete or temporarily hide the social media accounts of the offending users, and do not interact with them in any way.
- If you and your friends share the same social circle, try to spend less time together for the time being. Since it is now safer to limit interaction, the COVID-19 distancing principles provide an excellent, honest excuse for doing so.
- Put an end to constant communication like texting, calling, etc.
- Do not let yourself get pulled out of the present moment.
The practice of mindfulness, or paying attention in the here and now, has been shown to affect mental health positively. Relationships benefit by being present in the here and now. The practice can also improve one’s sense of self and emotional well-being.
By increasing your awareness of the present moment, practicing mindfulness makes it simpler to break free of repetitive mental loops and focus on what you care about. Focusing on the here and now prevents your thoughts from wandering to the past or future.
8. Be Patient and Wait
On the one hand, waiting can be the most straightforward action; on the other, it can be the most trying.
Yes, all you have to do is enjoy each passing day. However, time moves considerably more slowly when you have a particular goal.
You might laugh at the concept that your suffering and the depth of your thoughts will lessen with time, yet in most cases, that is precisely what happens. You’ll have to try to remember that special someone you’re dwelling on at the moment.
9. Don’t Give Up On Trying To Forgive
It’s simple to get stuck in misery after you’ve been wronged. You may keep replaying the injustice in your head, focusing on the anguish of the betrayal, and considering all the things you could do to right the wrong. While going back over old ground usually adds insult to injury, forgiving those responsible is a surefire way to start the healing process.
Not everyone understands this, but forgiveness is meant more for you than the person you’re forgiving. The burden of past hurts lifted when you forgive, freeing you to face the future more optimistically.
When you keep in mind that everyone makes blunders and that often no ill wills are lurking behind such errors, you will find it much easier to forgive.
10. Seek Out Professional Help by Visiting a Counselor
If the methods above haven’t worked to help you stop thinking about the individual, it may be time to seek professional help.
A therapist may not be able to make everything alright in your head, but they can help you look at the big picture and figure out why you’re stuck instead of just focusing on the problems.
The therapeutic process can teach you mindfulness techniques and other methods of dealing with difficult emotions and thoughts.
A human mind is a complicated place. It doesn’t always do what you want it to, and it sometimes seems to have its own mind. When unwanted memories of a person keep returning, no matter how much you try to suppress them, this can be pretty frustrating.
The company you keep, for better or for worse, can have a profound effect on you. It’s natural to feel upset when someone lets you down, but learning to accept the situation as it currently stands will help you move past your disappointment and move on with your life.